I've never done this before, but here goes nothing.  This will be my last time posting on xanga (thus the one day left) and there is a good deal I need to write and explain now.  I started this site a little over two years ago.  It had been less than a year after i saw my grandfather killed in a tractor accident, and I was not coping well.  My family life was a mess and I was emotionally volatile.  I started this site as a venue for everything that was pent of in me.  Even though I didn't know it at the time, it was an outlet for so much of my grief when there was nowhere else to turn.  My mother was in the midst of a breakdown over the death of her father and best friend and my dad was doing the best he could to support the family and keep my grandfather's glass company running.  One day soon after it happened, i walked into the guidance office in tears becasue I didn't think I could cope with it all... only to find that there was no one there who had the time to listen to me.  It was about that time I knew that I would have to deal with things on my own. So, this site has been my means of coping, my outlet for all the grief, the animosity, and the pain that came with my experiences throughout the last couple of years after the accident. 

Now, as for the "one day left" message.  There is a reason I am giving this up today.  Today is three years since my grandfather died.  Three years, and the pain is still there, but I can smile about the memories now.  Someone wise once said time heals all wounds.  Someone wise who once said that was incorrect.  Time is merely a balm that slowly grows and covers the wounds so you feel them less, but they're always there.  I woke up this morning to a day exactly like the day it happened, and this morning instead of this day the last two years, I didn't cry.  I got up, I thanked God for the beautiful sky, and I went on with my life.  I have very few accomplishments in my small life, but this is truly one of them.  My family is finally becoming whole again and I don't feel that gaping hole anymore because I know that when you love someone that much, they are never truly gone.  So, this is my goodbye.  I like the fact I can still comment on others' sites, but as for my own... my life is my own.  I can stand to live without the world knowing about it.  Good night and God bless to anyone who might come across this.  This is Samantha Chesak, signing off.